Buzz vs. Jack: A Deathmatch Made in Heaven

Back in the day, MTV had a rather amusing, low-brow show called Celebrity Deathmatch. Pretty much what it sounds like, the animated comedy featured clay versions of various celebrities and political leaders fighting to the death in a boxing ring.

As heavy in physical humor as it was often light in voice talent, the bloody-little-show-that-could featured some hilarious match-ups, including Mahatma Ghandi vs. Ghenghis Khan, The Three Stooges vs. the Three Tenors, and (my personal favorite) Axis-of-Evil charter member Benito Mussolini vs. super-calihyperlistic director Roberto Benigni.

One wonders what the show – which is out of production – would make of the current dustup between moonwalkers Buzz Aldrin and Harrison “Jack” Schmitt.

The two Apollo astronauts are on opposites sides of a recently announced road map by The Planetary Society that emphasizes Mars, asteroids and global warming over getting people back to the moon. Buzz is for the plan, while his colleague thinks it’s maybe the worst idea since we decided to stop sending people to the moon.

What could they make of that, indeed? Would claymation Buzz take a swing at Jack with one of Al Shepard’s golf clubs? Would Jack try to run down Buzz with a lunar buggy? Who would get impaled by the flag? And whose side would Neil Armstrong come down on?

The mind boggles. It just boggles. And because the show was canceled nearly two years ago, we’ll likely never find out.

Sad, really.